I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Barsexuality is the new black.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize