i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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