nut hugger
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
