pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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