he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize