they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
