Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
