yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
