Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
