Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We got so high we made milksteak
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
