I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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