there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
