singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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