i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
