We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
