im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize