dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
