what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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