so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
