I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
