My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
