fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
