yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
