I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
