Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
try to milk me bitch
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
