What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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