OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
