We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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