Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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