the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize