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• (714): View more from California

  so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

  (1-714): View more from California

  i'm so jealous of you right now.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours

  (678): View more from Georgia

  what's the verdict

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i've been scrubbing my vag all morning

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