my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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