Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
