i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
