dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
