No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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