it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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