Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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