D3 body, D1 cock
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize