i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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