i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
