My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
