I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
