He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
