his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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