Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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