I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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