i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
