someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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