You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
