guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize