You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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