She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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