is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize