The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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