wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
