We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
