just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
bring money and cleavage
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
