I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And then he peed in my hair
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