At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
