Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
