there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
