just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
