You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
