I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize