it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
