i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
