We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
