Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Someone signed my nipple.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
