we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
